Dominic West's Penis Inspires Ridiculous Competition

Those of you who breathlessly follow my every tweet will have already seen this still from forthcoming extended episode of Jonathan Creek British ghost story The Awakening, which I posted on Twitter the other day and which appears to have been created with the sole purpose of giving people something upon which to superimpose a cock:

I tweeted it because I wanted to see what the twisted hive mind of Twitter might do with it given the opportunity and a few spare minutes with Photoshop (other picture-modifying software is available). I was flooded with responses, by which I mean I had one response, from HeyUGuys Big Cheese Jon Lyus, who took the whole "photoshopping a cock onto a movie still" brief and rammed it up its own arse:

While Jon's image is more terrifying than anything that happens in The Awakening, I still can't help but feel that there are many of you out there hiding your light under Garry Bushell.

So I've decided to offer a loft-clutteringly huge prize to the creator of the most fabulously bastardised version of the original still that gets dumped into my inbox. There are no rules, your entry doesn't have to be penisy, just let your creative juices spurt freely. Here's what you could win (dining room table not included):

I realise that may look suspiciously like a bunch of random tat I found lying about the house, but it is in fact:

• A pair of Harry Potter 3D glasses
• DVDs of Charlie Chaplin's Monsier Verdoux, A Woman In Paris and A King In New York
• DVDs of Kill Speed (starring the Backstreet Boys' Nick Carter) and Kung Fu Panda
• A blue silk Rolling Stones scarf
• Issues 1-3 of The Crazies, whatever that is
• Issue 1 of CLiNT magazine, which might be worth something one day but probably not
• A never-been-worn The Amazing Spider-Man t-shirt (size small, but would fit a medium I reckon)
• A couple of random postcards
• A Nicolas Cage face mask, ideal for wearing while watching Face/Off

Now if that's not a prize worth fighting for I don't know what is. Email your efforts to me here before, I don't know, next Thursday or something and I'll announce a winner soon after and post it on this very blog right here for all the world to marvel at. OK? Go!

Thanks To The Incredible Suit

Bob Hoffman On Postcoherent Advertising

Have a read of this great post from Bob Hoffman. A small snippet to whet your appetite: “The primary characteristics of postcoherent advertising is that it assumes... we already know what the product is, or what it's for, or how it works, or why it's better, or why we need it”.

Thanks To The Sell! Sell! Blog

Mischa Barton’s pooch ‘Bean’ no longer wagging his tail.

The pups in Hollywood are dropping left, right and centre at the moment. Another doggy death comes with the news that Mischa Barton has lost her beloved pooch Bean. Sadly the death occurred on Mischa's 21st birthday, and friends were worried when she showed up hours later for her own party. But once they knew it was because of her dog’s death they forgave her. To help the imagery of the situation: imagine a hugging scene from Friends, one of those sickly feel good over the top moments! So that’s two dogs down (including Pinks) and one to go. They say these things always happen in three's. I wonder which celebrity pup is next?

Thanks To Splash News Online

Wonderama

Wonder's observations after W3:
1) Playing TB was equivalent to a bye. They have no homefield advantage, half the stadium is transplanted NYers, nice to play them there.
2) TB and CLE are the two worst teams in the league. If you put them in the Super Bowl the score might be 0-0 in March before anyone scored.
3) Man-Idiot fined a player something like 00 for taking a water out of the minibar. This head coach is a psycho. He buses his rookies from Ohio to Hartford (against CBA rules) for a football camp. He has a secret about who his starting QB is. Again. Setting the over-under on how long he lasts- 2 years.
4) "There are NO GOOD TEAMS in football right now. All teams have flaws."
5) If they had to play the Super Bowl RIGHT NOW, it would be the Saints and the Ravens. Just like everyone else, these two have flaws, but right now they would be there.
6) "Andy, you're right, this kid Manningham is the real deal. Fluid hips, cuts on a dime."
7) The AFC West and the NFC West should be forced to play in the Arena League.
8) If there is one team that has less flaws than anyone, it would be Minnesota.
9) My Jets have loads of flaws- a rookie QB, D'Brickapussy can't run block, Faneca can't block period, and we only have one WR. (Note Wonder did not comment on the defense, which is playing well w/o arguably their best player, Pace.. "well, best besides Kris Jenkins.")
10) Eagles flawed- They are the best 2-1 team out there, but they lost bookend Tackle Shaun Andrews to IR, they can't pressure the QB the way they used to.
11) Best QB in the game is Peyton Manning. If he is #1, then #1a is Drew Brees. Brees is '1a' because we'll take Peyton when the pressure packages come, Peyton is better against pressure because he has seen it all, knows exactly where to go with the ball when that happens.
12) Steelers at 1-2 are better than a lot of teams.
13) Denver at 3-0 is the biggest fraud. They might be the worst 3-0 team in history. Coach too.
14) AZ is crumbling because their line play has deteriorated from last year. Their LT and RT are not good.
15) If Urlacher did not get hurt, the Bears could have won their division. Very positive on Cutler.
16) The Giants have the greatest potential of any team in the NFL, but this win against TB means very little. Tell me where this team is when Canty is back, when Boley and Tuck are 100%. Until they can get healthy, stop decent teams, they are not completely there. Remember, there are NO GOOD teams in football right now.. if the Giants do get their act together, they can be the team to beat, but right now after W3, no.
17) Baltimore has a very solid OL. Together with a solid defense that plays well together as a unit, they are the 'least flawed' AFC team.
18) "If I am the coach I fine Sanchez for that submarine TD run of his- he could break his neck and be out of football, must protect himself, too valuable."
19) Look at Percy Harvin on the turf.. could you imagine what he would be like with Peyton Manning?!
20) Even though Morris has a HORRIBLE team and a HORRIBLE o-line, watch Josh Johnson keep "the other Josh" Freeman on the bench the whole year.. unless coach gives into "public pressure."
21) "At least Favre admitted" he did not know who he was throwing to on the winning pass to beat the 49ers!

Thanks To ULTIMATENYG

Less Than Half of Grassroots Emails Reaching the Hill

Wash Post's Birnbaum reports on a troubling study out today by Capitol Advantage (or at least troubling to those of us who plan grassroots advocacy campaigns targeted at the Hill), showing that "six of the 10 leading companies that run Web sites that send e-mails for interest groups failed to deliver even half of those e-mails through their systems."

Birnbaum adds that, "The number of e-mails has mushroomed in part because of the now-common practice among interest groups to rally their troops via cyberspace. Generally, a lobby will send an e-mail to its most eager members, which directs them to a Web site. Once there, the members fill out a form that routes to lawmakers e-mails that advocate whatever it is the group is pressing for at the moment."

Thanks To Potomac Flacks

So Much for that MSU-UM Tradition

       The traditional gridiron battle between the Green and White and the Maize and Blue not only produces challenges for the two teams but Michigan governor's face some of their own.

       Governor's are just like all other elected officials; they want to please everyone but on this one weekend a year, whatever they do, someone will be upset.

       Which is why former Gov. Jennifer Granholm was a chicken.  She refused to choose sides.  Hey, she graduated from Berkely and Harvard so what did she care.

       Such was never the case with MSU grads/Governors Jim Blanchard and John Engler.  You knew exactly where they stood and while it may have cost them some votes here and there, their devotion to their alma mater was more important than the politics for them.

       Like wise with the current occupant.  Nobody has seen Gov. rick Snyder bleed, but if he did, most surely it would not be green or white blood.  It's just another reason for MSU fans not to like him.

       There's another thing that governor's abhor: Being booed in public.

        Years ago the governor would attend the game and sit on one side of the field for the first half and then in a grand ceremony, the governor would walk across the 50 yard line to take a seat on the other side just to give the illusion of fairness.

       Problem was, there were always some lugs in the stands who didn't like the governor and that always produced cat calls, and unsavory taunts.  The media would dutifully report all this and it was hugely embarrassing to say the least, if not a little humorous to everyone except the governor.

       Which is why they scrapped the tradition without fanfare.

        Now they will tell you they did it for security reasons.  After all parading the governor across the field, makes the governor a sitting duck, but more importantly from a political standpoint, who wants to be booed in public?

        No one.

Thanks To Skoop's Blog

Can't Make Him Answer

 

   For a guy who steadfastly professes to be a non-career politician, he has certainly adapted quite nicely to one of the traits of a career pol: Not wanting to answer tough questions.

    Don't kid yourself, Gov. Rick Snyder is one tough-cookie when it comes to bobbing and weaving away from controversial inquires.  Take the Right to Work question.

    The governor has said any attempt by businesses and Republicans to cut into union membership would be "divisive" and he wants no part of that.  Period.

    Up until now silly reporters have continued to ask for his position on the issue itself and like the career politician he says he is not, he declines to expand on his answer.

    So an even sillier correspondent tried to come in the back door the other day.

   "Governor.  Your position on not wanting to debate Right to Work is clear, but set aside for the moment the divisiveness of this debate and please answer this question:  Does RTW create jobs?

     Now recall that the governor is a data-driven guy who longs for all the answers he can gobble up before he makes a decision.  And the job creation aspect gets right to the heart of the Right to Work debate so surely he will wade right in with his analysis.

     Ha.

     "I think the issue is divisive," he says for the umpteenth time.

     "Let me press you on that.  Does it create jobs?"

     Double ha.

      "I'll just leave it at what I said," he stonewalls again.

      And in staying on message he concludes that "just talking about" the jobs angle is divisive in and of itself.

      Score it career politician: One.  Frustrated reporter: Zippo.

Thanks To Skoop's Blog